Faith, Geekery, and Life

I’m going to take the time to be honest and introspective today.  If that’s not your cup of tea, feel free to walk away now and grab another post about the latest Star Trek Film or the season finale of Dollhouse (which I need to catch up on, particularly since it’s coming back next year).  You won’t hurt my feelings.  However, if you’re of the mindset that peeking into someone else’s mind might provide an interesting thought, or you’re not afraid that what I’m contemplating might make you look at your own life, read on, fearless reader.

If you check out FG’s “The Geeks” Page, you’ll notice that one of my interests within Geekdom is video games.  I didn’t grow up with a Nintendo or any game console for that matter.  At some point in high school, a friend gave me his Genesis when he picked up a Dreamcast, and that was the only one I owned until College when I picked up an SNES on eBay.

I did get into computer games though.  First, playing Castle, DigDug, and Kings Quest IV (which I never figured out) on an old DOS machine from the 80′s.  Then we got our Gateway P166, and I got a copy of Command & Conquer at age 14.  I was hooked on PC games from then on — and particularly in college, that was fine.  As long as I had the time to get my homework done and hang out with my friends and my (at the time) girlfriend, it was up to me if I wanted to stay up until the wee hours playing Half-Life 2 or World of Warcraft.

Then I graduated and got married.  This past year, we had a daughter.  And the question that keeps drifting over my head is “How do I balance my family with what I do for fun?” See, I don’t think God has a problem with our Geekery, or our having fun.  But while God did make me a geek, God also has something far more important for me to do: I’m supposed to lead a family.  That’s priority one next to my relationship with God.  Does my knowing this make me the perfect husband and father?  Far from it.  I’m a broken, sin-filled guy, just like everyone else.  In fact, at times I’ve done a very horrible job of balancing them out.

Because though I hate to admit it, there are times where it is tough and when playing a video game changes from fun to feeding the flesh.  Because once I’m playing a game when I know I should be investing time into my family, I’ve taken a serious step in the wrong direction.

So how do I make the balance work?  I’m starting (and trying) to learn that I don’t.  It’s a flawed question.  As long as I look at it from the perspective of balancing the two, I’ve failed.  When I give priority to those things that God has called me to, everything else will fall into place exactly where it should be.